The Bar Stool with Papa Whiskey

Three angry Murumes, gate crushed, sobered up our beer-shara party

Kanana is the barmaid with a sexy voice which seduces Brayo to fuliza mobile cash, drink his rent

Brotherly brawl: The bar fight ended as sudden as it had started with all three murumes returning to their seats. They ordered and began drinking like nothing had happened.

Skonye, the counter girl with big brown eyes at the local formed a WhatsApp group for her regulars. To launch it, Prof, the drinker who comes to read novels at the local suggested in all respect to hops, barley and malt, it be launched officially with a drink. Never mind Kenya’s Commander-in-Drinks had reduced the curfew by one to 10pm, which still provided enough time to “stagger home smelling like a man.”

Prof even offered to buy a kilo of roast goats but Brayo said “kilo moja ni ya kutega panya” and added three more with instructions “that kilo moja iwekwe tumbukiza na iive kama Kanana!”

Kanana is the barmaid with a sexy voice which seduces Brayo to fuliza mobile cash and even drink his rent. Prof got the curfew party going with a one litre of mzinga whose side effects on Kanana is a story for another day.

One of the men in a brown jacket was raising his voice betraying their shags as Meru County

But we never even got to enjoy the beer-shara of the curfew party. Some three men came, sat down, ordered a cold beer each and before you can say ‘wheelbarrow’ they were causing dust raising drama, the local will in future need a bouncer.

One of the men in a brown jacket was raising his voice betraying their shags as Meru County. The one being addressed was in a T-shirt and appeared like the eldest. He was also talking back to the brown jacket and the other in a black sweater was now rising to his feet, shouting some more.

Suddenly the three ‘murumes’ were all talking at the same time bringing the local to a standstill, but no one moved.

His face had small rungus for skin where the ground had made nasty friendship with his forehead

The brown jacket murume yanked the T-shirt murume out the door and all we saw was dust as the T-shirt was rolled all over the ground. The black sweater murume joined the melee dragging the T-shirt in a puddle of water following overnight rains.

The bar brawl ended as sudden as it had started with all three murumes returning to their seats. The black jacket murume ordered Kanana to add two more cold beers each to “Mutuma, Mutiga and me, Mugambi!”

Where have you been since lockdown, yet mother is sick and she paid for your school fees using firewood?

We now knew their names: Dusty and wet Mutuma had his T-shirt torn and his face had small rungus for skin where the ground had made nasty friendship with his forehead. Mutiga was fuming, drinking fast.

Mugambi switched to English but was more or less asking Mutuma questions: “You are eldest in the family, where have you been since lockdown, yet mother is sick and she paid for your school fees using firewood?”

Mutuma replied in Kimeru with ‘mbeke’ (balls) somewhere in the sentence which got Mugambi and Mutiga yanking him out for a mud wrestling session, again! 

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