Aunt wa Harrier was even worse, her face resembled a murram road towards Kiangoma village
Aunt wa Harrier and I chewed a blackout by the police road block. Drinking overnight has its hazards. You wake up smelling like a brewery in a face that could fit the village witch.
Mine appeared like it had been pressed on gunia ya waru from Soko Mjinga market the whole night. My face was lined, eyes red. The forehead felt like a nine by nine block from Gituamba Quarry was busting to come out.
And where do overnight injuries come from? My cheek had a scratch with a trace of blood like Satan ran his long, sharp nail over it.
Then clothes somehow crease, get dirty during overnight drinking, yet we drunk Aunt wa Harrier’s 18 year old whiskey inside the car. And how did mchanga get into my trouser pockets? Then there is that sickening feeling; like you want to pee, diarrhea and ‘call Mwaura’ at the same time.
Aunt wa Harrier looked like a shamba girl who had been digging 100 acres with a broken hoe
Aunt wa Harrier was even worse. Her face resembled a murram road towards Kiangoma village. Why are there sudden body pains from overnight drinking? Her pelvic bones, she mourned, felt like Goliath sat on them as Jezebel practiced heavy weight boxing with her back.
For real, Aunt wa Harrier looked like a shamba girl who had been digging 100 acres with a broken hoe. “If this was my bed at home ninge shuta halafu nirudi kulala,” she said by way of good morning. “Now I am in the same underwear as jana.”
Jeso! All these problems were after agreeing to take Aunt wa Harrier for “just one drink” to Naivasha…from Kenol past Thika, just imagine? “Just one drink!” and then President Uhuru, the Chief Kanyui himself, banned pinting in pubs. That was how curfew caught us past Soko mjinga, by the police road block on our way back to Nairobi.
Out came eight men who looked like former members of Jeshi la Mzee
So, here we were, washing faces using mineral water hadharani along the Nairobi-Nakuru highway. Bila breakfast. Did I tell you Aunt wa Harrier’s car was on loan which had been defaulting as lockdown affected her business of importing stuff from ‘Shaina and Taake?’… China and Turkey.
Now picture how two cars blocked us just before Limuru. Out came eight men who looked like former members of Jeshi la Mzee. One had a scar across the forehead, another had missing front teeth. They spoke like a maize cob, mucakwe, was chocking their words, but the message was loud and clear: “Hii gari hujarikipia mwezi tano, sidio?…out ni ije” said the ring leader, leaving us freezing by the road side.