I have known no peace in 37 years, I often fled from my wife at the devil hours
Psychologists reckon that people have affairs hoping to re-invent themselves, to become the person they think they want to be.
They also note that while unfaithful women in long-term marriages, report low satisfaction with their husband’s, for men, there doesn’t have to be any dissatisfaction to cheat.
“Women stray when they’re depressed, or lonely because of being emotionally or physically neglected or simply for the thrill of not getting caught.”
By Shifa Mwihaki
Feature writer/Essayist
Former National Assembly Speaker Francis Ole Kaparo often left his matrimonial bed in the dead of night to flee from his wife, Mary Kaparo, who constantly got “wild while drunk.”
He also accuses her of habouring a mpango wa kando heightening chances their three children could be products of ‘away matches.’
The Kaparos had such bitter domestic beef his wife hardly visited him when he was hospitalized for five months, according to his replying affidavits in which he claims she was a violent, ‘daily drinking officer.’
Kaparo, now twisting his 70s, is not a saint either. According to their divorce papers, he admitted to his wife that yes! he had also been bending the petticoat of assorted mpangos she didn’t know about, except one: Laikipia North MP, Paulata Korere-with whom he is now cohabiting- after ending his marriage of 40 years.
In case you have forgotten, Hon Korere got a former mhesh, Mathew Lempurkel, cooling porridge for one year at Kamiti Maximum Prison for slapping her five years ago! Lempurkel, the ex-Laikipia North MP, was jailed without an option of a fine!
Kaparo’s current lover was in the news six years ago for breastfeeding her daughter in between Parliamentary sessions
Marital experts inform us that after years of marriage, one spouse might also ‘grow religious horns’, join a different denomination, find solace in keshas and chamas, yearn for freedom that was absent when raising the children or suspect the existence of a second family.
Hon Korere, daughter of a wealthy Maasai elder, was in the news six years ago for breastfeeding her daughter in between Parliamentary sessions when she was a Nominated MP!
It was in the arms of Korere that Kaparo would disappear to for days without explanations “and he eventually went away’’ in 2017 after moving in with Hon Korere at Edenville estate, Kiambu County.
Kaparo’s wife, a front-pew Catholic, swore she could only share a hubby with another woman over her dead body, and filed for divorced on grounds of adultery, cruelty and desertion. Their case which involves DNA tests to ascertain paternity of their children-now adults- will be heard this May.
The Kaparos wed in 1981, four years after his admission to the Bar. He schooled by force, would you believe it, being picked from the manyatta by the colonial Tribal Police to attend school at Dol Dol enroute to Shimo la Tewa and Nanyuki High schools.
Marital experts note that most marriages are not happy, only tolerable. Many stabilize in the first 10 years
Kaparo owns a 2000-acre ranch in Kimanju, Nanyuki where his neighbours include the Kirubis and the Murungis, the Mastermind Tobacco family.
The ranch was a community gift for passing exams, but his wife intends to pursue it as part of matrimonial property to be shared out.
Why do couples call it quits after almost 40 years together? Well, reasons for divorce in Kenya include cruelty, infidelity, desertion, mental illness, barrenness, impotence, money, rape, sodomy, mistrust, unfulfilled promises and “irreconcilable differences”-which was introduced in 2014.
Marital experts note that most marriages are not happy, only tolerable. Many stabilize in the first 10 years, the period of turbulence which, if not well managed, brings unresolved issues later.
And troubled marriages that don’t stabilize, are most times held together by property, children, religious values and pressure from relatives, “it’s the woman who initiates the divorce since men fear any form of failure.”
The rich, who mostly divorce over infidelity, spend their lives searching for economic prosperity
The rich, who mostly divorce over infidelity, spend their lives searching for economic prosperity, leaving little time for meaningful relationships. The empty nest syndrome when grown-up children vacate, leaving couples with little to share, only worsens matters.
Kenyan men, on average, hardly divorce, preferring instead to live apart, while dragging divorce cases for years.
The biggest culprit is infidelity triggered by hormonal changes: Women’s sex drive peak in their 30s, slows down in their 40s to 50s. But for men it accelerates in their late 40s before dipping after 55. Experts tell us “the man gets a younger woman to validate his ego, while the woman gets a younger man to prove her desirability.”
